Confessions of an Addict

The meeting was one that for almost a year had not taken place, with a good friend who in a short period of time had earned our friendship.

The meeting point was in the Flagler St. and 57th, at the famous Cuban Juices Palace, where we started with what we call routine questions, What have you been doing? How are things going? How is the family? What’s new?.

Upon completing the first round, we nourish our body with cold coconut water in order to battle the famous infernal heat of the summer.

As we sat down in front of the window where the protagonists were the pork, rice, black beans, sweet plantains and cassava; suddenly he looked into our eyes intently and confessed that he has been for the past two years sober that for over 30 years he had been an alcoholic and his life had been plagued with difficult situations.

This musician with a cheerful personality, eloquent talker, an indefatigable comedian and lover of Latin culture, had forgotten everything that had been part of his mask to the world and was confessing what has been his ordeal towards the resurrection of his life for the past two years.

Growing up he witnessed his fathers’ addiction, the only thing that helped him to tolerate this scenario was to take refuge in music, which ironically led him to what he hated most about his father’s, his addiction.

His path was not easy, the relapses, disappointments, deceptions, his famous escapes, failed relationships, the lost of everything he desired, were the norm. In the process, an excuse was utilized, blaming his father for all his decisions, as it was the easiest way not to look in a mirror and take responsibility for it.

During his last relapse, he found himself with money in his pocket, a wonderful relationship and a stable job, as soon as he felt pressure; he used it as an excuse to sit back in his old ways of escaping from his responsibilities by responding with the easiest way out, running and not taking responsibility.

Days later, sitting in one of the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in the city where he fled to; he was asked to tell his story as part of the celebration of his two years of being sober.

Upon concluding his eloquent presentation, a man who he admired greatly, approached him and told him “you will get very far, since you still have a long way to travel”.

The words of this person moved the foundations of all of what he understood as being his reality and brought him back to humility and resume the path that brought him there.

Days later, he returned to his home the one that he had abandoned, resuming recovery, the same one which had given him spiritual sanity to finally see the path to walk in towards his destiny, which only can be done by walking daily, given that what only exist is the present.

Week’s later life placed him into a major tribulation and giving him a trial of returning to his homeland Wisconsin, to care for his ill father, one who had not changed and continues on the path of addiction. In the time he was telling me this, we interrupted him and asked if his father was not his mirror, as the course of miracles indicates, in where we are both students.

His face transfigured, the words stopped and after a moment of reflection, in that moment he realized the reason for returning to his roots, against his principles was – fear.

He had realized that part of the healing process was to confront his past to continue with his progress; to proceed in feeling happiness like others before him had managed to, through the means of service.

Today, his resurrection has given him the opportunity to transform his life, since now he decides differently, he takes cares of his temple – his body-, is present as if after the sunsets no morning will exist, renew the vows of love he feels and which surrounds the fibers of his heart, he appreciate all that surrounds him with a new sense of sensitivity and lives immersed in his new life.

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